


Breakthru

by jessahmewren



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Crossdressing, Depressed Brian May, Depression, Established Relationship, Frian, Light Angst, Lingerie, M/M, Maycury Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 13:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20489663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessahmewren/pseuds/jessahmewren
Summary: Wearing lingerie has always helped boost Brian's mood, but it's a secret he's kept hidden from Freddie, until now.





	Breakthru

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic for Maycury/Frian week...a little soft angst. The prompt was "lingerie," and I went a different direction with it. I hope you enjoy! <3

-0-0-0-

Brian kept them in a drawer…blue silk, red with lace detail, mint green, white ones, black ones, lavender and pink ones. Sometimes he didn’t wear them; just touching them was enough. Other times, on really bad days, he wore them all day. 

On really bad days, he rarely got out of bed. He kept the room dark and didn’t eat much. He usually skipped showers and wasn’t up for visitors. Nothing could pull him out of his depression, not even Freddie. 

Today was a bad day.

Brian stood looking down at his collection, fingers grazing over his own personal garden of forbidden fruit. Brian plucked one, a lovely lavender pair, and stepped into them. The panties felt good as he slipped them on over his hips, the cool fabric hugging him in all the right places. This was his ritual on bad days…it boosted his mood momentarily and made him actually feel something instead of the usual bone-crushing numbness. 

He fished in his dresser looking for a pair of sweats, something comfy to pull over the snug panties, when his hand landed on something silky. He pulled it out, soft pink and shimmery in the light of their bedroom.

He hadn’t laid eyes on the nightgown since they’d wrapped filming on “I Want to Break Free,” but it was still the same as he remembered, that same little pink sleeveless gown edged in lace. He felt the material in his hands, very much the same as the panties he wore, and without much thought, slipped it on over his head. 

He sighed, feeling as though a huge weight had lifted from his chest. It had been a year since the video, but the nightie looked the same on him as it did then. He might not have had Roger’s curves or Freddie’s legs, but that day he had felt sexy in his own way. Maybe the way the gown was cut accentuating his arms and chest; it made him feel feminine and pretty, and looking at it now he loved the way it fell over his body, not really touching him anywhere, letting the air flow freely as the hem danced around his calves. 

Brian indulged himself for a moment and posed in front of the floorlength mirror of his and Freddie’s bedroom, drawing the material around his figure. He could see the dark lavender of his panties through the pink gown, and it made him smile for the first time in ages.

He padded out of the bedroom in bare feet, making his way into the kitchen to make tea. Freddie was at the store. He had a little time before he got back. 

His cheeks grew pink as he poured the kettle, thoughts of self-doubt creeping in. He really shouldn’t be doing this. His habit with the panties was bad enough, but now he was walking around in a nightgown? What was wrong with him? A deep frown creased his forehead as tears threatened to spill down his cheeks. He blinked them away. Right now he felt good, his mood had lifted a bit, and he would enjoy it while it lasted. He would deal with the rest later. 

His tea made, he settled on the couch, curling his legs under him. His mood was still dark, and a cold numbness had settled over him once again. Unbidden, he began to cry.

Why couldn’t he just stay happy? He had a home, a boyfriend, and amazing friends. What was wrong with him? This black mood seem to settle over him at times and all he could do was think dark thoughts despite being so incredibly lucky. Other people didn’t have these kinds of problems. Brian just didn’t understand it. 

Just then, Brian heard keys rattle in the door, and before he could do much more than cover himself with a couch cushion, Freddie was bounding into the flat with an armload of groceries. 

“Why, hello darling. It’s good to see you out of bed.” 

Brian was steadily crying now, so he only nodded, trying not to draw attention to himself. 

Freddie deposited the groceries on the counter and walked over to where Brian sat on the couch. 

Freddie noticed the tears, and wiped some away with the pads of his fingers. “Well, what’s the matter, love?”

“I’m sorry,” Brian whispered. “I’m sorry for this.” 

Freddie shook his head. “Darling, sorry for what?” 

Brian removed the cushion, revealing himself, and Freddie’s eyes lit up. “Is that the nightgown from the video shoot? You look positively adorable!” He refocused on Brian’s face. “Honey, why are you crying?” 

“There are panties too, Freddie. And it’s not the first time I’ve done it.” 

Freddie’s eyes softened, and he smoothed his hand down the side of Brian’s face. “Oh love, that’s nothing to feel bad about.” He leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy.” 

“I’m not happy though, Freddie.” Brian was still crying, his eyes rimmed with red. He looked up pitifully at Freddie through sheets of tears. 

Freddie’s heart dropped. “Why aren’t you happy, love? Is it me?” He swallowed hard, his throat dry. “Is it us darling?” 

Brian eyes grew wide. “No! I love you with my whole heart, Freddie. You’re the best thing in my life. You and the band. It’s just…there’s something wrong with me...inside.” 

Freddie pulled him into a fierce hug, soothing his hair as he rocked him slowly. “Then we’ll get you help, love. And whatever it is, we’ll face it together.” 

Brian only nodded, snuffling a little. 

“But understand something,” Freddie added. “There’s nothing wrong with you wanting to wear women’s clothes. If it makes you feel better, then go ahead and do it. I think it’s cute as hell.” 

Brian laughed a little, nuzzling into Freddie’s arm. “Do you want to see my panties?” 

Freddie squeezed him fondly. “I thought you’d never ask, but only after we've made you an appointment. Ok?” 

Brian finally smiled. “Ok.” 

-0-0-0-

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr/twitter is @jessahmewren. Come say hello!


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